Text Me, Facebook Me, Email Me: He's Just Not That Into You

My friends and I just saw the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You.” A hilarious flick that pokes fun at how technology is used, or isn’t used, to make a connection with that special someone.

You rush to check your email, you make a point to check your Facebook page, you text, wait for a text, and if you are lucky enough a phone call.

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Admit it, it’s not just gals that are doing this, but men are too. When did this happen that we are at the mercy of technology to influence our lives and for some to feel valuable. It’s the state of this crazy new technological world we live in.

No email…No text…Oh no! Yet, the girl or gal next to me has enough to create a novel. No posts written to your wall on Facebook for at least a week…Does anyone love me?

What is this world coming to? I had actually banned text for many months until people asked me, “Did you get my text?” Of course not, but I caved in to sign-up because I would have lost out on some important messages. Drew Barrymore said it best as the character of Mary explains to her friend the new society we live in. “He emailed me, text me, and My-Spaced me and now you have to check all these different portals of technology…it’s exhausting!”

Why are we taking all this time invested in the virtual world when we should be investing it in the real world to meet the true gentlemen. There is a new kind of chivalry coming out of this digital age when texting is the way of getting the door for someone, emails are the little hand-written notes from a secret valentine, when adding one as a friend on Facebook, is the new, “OK, you’re cool enough to join my crew.”

The little personal niceties are slowing diminishing in this “crack-berry/ iPhone” world. It’s sad. In the movie, Mary shares with her colleagues at the magazine, “Things have changed. People don’t just meet organically anymore. If I want to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex, I don’t go get a new haircut – I update my profile. That’s just how it is.” It’s true for us experimenting in the online dating world. Also, for those connecting with others on Facebook, or who wish to impress his/her former high school classmates. However, too often there are those that feel safe hiding behind their computer, posting messages that are not true, or sharing pictures that are ten years old. That’s just not right and it makes it harder for one to trust the virtual world without first-hand experience, or encounters with others in the real world. Meanwhile in the movie, the guy Mary meets online turns out to be a phony. Later she is pleasantly surprised by turning off the technology. It’s ironic when she uses it first, she doesn’t have much success. However, when she puts down the phone, turns off the computer and meets someone face-to-face, she finds love.

Don’t get me wrong, I find the entertainment through the use of Facebook, the texting between friends can be fun at times too, and online dating has some interesting experiences. Yet, sometimes I just have to sit and laugh not taking things so seriously. I have friends that obsess over the amount of text and what to interpret by each message. OMG, he didn’t text me back, or respond to my Facebook post! What happened to the day of picking up the phone, or meeting someone at a local café to talk face-to-face? We are becoming a fickle society that doesn’t want to invest the effort anymore. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. That is, REAL ACTIONS in the REAL WORLD. In a recent interview about the movie, Drew Barrymore explains, “I’m totally confused by technology in dating. It’s so hard. It’s new; we’re in a new phase of history. It’s uncharted waters and we’re all figuring it out together.”

 

I’ve learned to value the interpersonal connections so much more with the influx of technology and social media. Today, I seek the sounds of sharing a laugh, the touch of one’s hand, the smells of the environment, the engaged conversations with others have come to have great meaning. It’s scary how quickly this world is changing and a time when the phrase “reach out and touch someone,” maybe becoming a thing of the past.

Honey, if he isn’t taking the time to treat you with respect in person, recall the things important to you in person, invite you out in person just to have someone close by to listen what’s on your mind ….HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!